7 Best Places You Can Make Friends as an Adult.

Photo by Luwadlin Bosman on Unsplash.

When I was sixteen, I was obsessed with the idea of growing up. I badly wanted to be an adult. I wanted to be my own boss, independent and do whatever I liked whenever I liked. Each time my mother would deny me anything I wanted, I would yell, “I can’t wait to be an adult and leave this house!”

I bet whenever she remembers that and looks at me now, she laughs. I was young and stupid. Oh! How good it is to be naïve.

What nobody told us was that growing up is isolating. Yes, you finally move out of your folks’ house, but now you have responsibilities. For starters, you are in charge of your life. Can you imagine that, me, a child, let loose in the wild? Totally unsupervised! It’s crazy!

Secondly, you are required to juggle 20 things at once. You are trying to show up to work on time, pay your bills on time, learn to manage yourself, chase your dreams, travel, have fun, and remain sane! It’s like a circus! Worse, actually, because no one is laughing!

What stings more is the friendships you lose along the way. You either leave school or move out of the neighborhood, and now seeing each other is harder. As you pursue different paths, it becomes challenging to keep up with one another. With the lack of a unifying factor and the distance between crops, you eventually become unfamiliar with people.

Now, as a deserted adult, the complexities of life make it even harder to make new friends. Also, a lack of opportunities to meet people can keep you stuck in a lonely loop.

It is easy to bury your head in the sand and resign to fate. I mean, whoever is for me will find me, right? Possibly! But you can be damn sure they will not find you in your bed. You have to take the initiative and put yourself out there.

I have discovered that no one wants to be friends with a boring person. Therefore, it’s up to you to make your life interesting. Pursue your passions and interests, and in the process, the right people will align. Fortunately, there are plenty of activities and places where you can make friends as an adult. Read on and find out how I have made friends as a grown-up.

1. Join A Gym.

If getting your health in order isn’t motivating enough to join a gym, how about making friends? As an avid gym girl, I know it can be intimidating. However, I also know it’s an excellent spot to make new connections and meet people.

I have made many friends in the gym, and because of the gym. Probably because I am always talking about it to anyone who will listen. Ah! The benefits of the gym are immeasurable. That deserves a separate article. I digress!

The gym is one of the places where you are your most authentic self. There is no pretending. Try looking cute while doing 20 burpees in under 20 seconds, even when your trainer is pressuring you to keep going! It’s impossible. Consequently, any connection you make in the gym is also authentic.

Most gyms offer numerous group classes. You can attend a yoga or Zumba class and meet people with similar interests. Friendships formed in the gym motivate you to keep showing up and keep you accountable in your fitness journey.

Therefore, the next time you are racking your weights or walking on the treadmill, say hello to the person next to you. If you see someone clapping for themselves for doing 100 burpees, Lord, you had better clap for them too! Who knows? The nods and fist bumps may be the beginning of great friendships.

2. Work.

Toxic work cultures have led us to believe that colleagues can’t be friends. The workplace is a dog-eat-dog environment. And we are not really a family, like the Human Resources department would have us believe!

However, nothing could be further from the truth. With the right personal and professional boundaries, I have realized that co-workers can easily become real-life friends. Sometimes you instantly click with your colleagues and become inseparable.

Furthermore, if you spend more than eight hours of your time at work, you will naturally align or bond with the colleagues you interact with most. If you work in a team or partnership and have adjoining desks, you may have developed a relationship that goes beyond work.

The best way to enhance the dynamics of a work relationship is to change the scenery. In a different setting, the work armor falls off, and you become more relaxed and relatable. For instance, you may feel more comfortable talking about your personal life while grabbing ice cream than when having coffee in the shared office kitchen.

Therefore, pace yourself. Test the temperament of a potential friendship with a co-worker by introducing non-work topics into the conversation. Perhaps you’ll discover you both enjoy watching plays and live concerts, so it won’t be awkward to invite them to a music event over the weekend.

3. Volunteering.

Volunteering is therapeutic and can give you a sense of purpose. It is also an excellent way to make friends. While pursuing courses that matter to you, you make an impact on society and find people with similar views and values along the way.

There are several things that I am zealous about aside from myself. I love helping people in the community. I care for nature, and I want to see a clean environment and live in one too. Also, I am passionate about women’s and children’s welfare. So, you can be sure I volunteer in many organizations that handle such matters.

Consequently, I have made tones of friends in these organizations. People who call on you to rally support for upcoming children’s home visits. Friends who will march alongside you in a protest against femicide and gender-based violence. And passionate people who will walk 50 kilometers with you to raise awareness on several environmental issues.

Some of these friendships have transcended into solid sisterhood and brotherhood. They are the people you invite for a housewarming party, a press conference on dire matters and are even part of your bridal team on your big day. No matter what, you know you have a group of people who have got your back, in your corner.

4. Neighborhood.

Self-isolation is the sugar and spice of adulting. It ensures we are well woven into the tapestry of keeping to ourselves. For most of us, we don’t want to be bothered. “I have had a long day and I just want to get home!”

Therefore, for many of us, we don’t realize that we have outstanding potential friendships living next door. We give courtesy waves and quickly shut the door. Other times we walk very fast to avoid small talk and dismiss our neighbors’ way before they have a chance to say ‘hello neighbor!

Similarly, when they knock at our doors, we pretend we’re not home. If you lived in a hotel suite, you’d probably have the ‘don’t disturb’ sign on! Then we lament days on end how we have no friends and need to get out more!

Moving forward, say hi to your neighbors. They are likely your first response in times of an emergency. They can also alert you to neighborhood warnings and watches. Secondly, there can be really great friendships waiting for you right next door.

5. Sign Up for a Class.

When I began to pivot in my writing career, I joined several writing classes and workshops. Through these workshops, I learnt important writing cues that I use in my work, and best of all, I made friends.

I can assure you, you’ll make friends when pursuing your passions and hobbies. Therefore, what do you like to do? What ignites your mind and sparks your soul, and how often are you doing it?

Group classes don’t have to be professional or academically oriented, especially if that is not your cup of tea. They can also be an outlet for release, fun and inspiring creativity. For instance, you can easily make friends at a sip and paint class. Bonding over wine and art is top tier.

If you like dancing, you can sign up for breakdance or salsa lessons. If you want to push your boundaries a little and explore some more, enroll in a pole dance session. That’s a great conversation starter!

6. Online Groups.

If you want to make friends easily, join an online group. Before you completely shut me out and let social anxiety take over, give me a chance to explain. Technology is here to make your life easier. So, use it to your advantage and make a friend or two in the process.

You can find online groups on Facebook, Twitter, Meetup, Bumble, Pinterest and Reddit. Some of these platforms are built to help you find friends and a community. It could be a fitness, movies and music, relationship or a self-awareness group that connects people and shares content on these topics.

Depending on your interests, find a group that resonates with you, and join. Actively participate in discussions, expand your worldview and respect the opinions of the other members. Furthermore, when they organize meet-and-greets, show up, mingle, and make friends!

7. Church.

Living in towns and cities can be lonely sometimes. Especially when your family lives far off, and you have no close relatives nearby. Most people, reasonably, turn to religion to find a sense of community.

Depending on your spiritual and religious inclinations, places of worship are an excellent place to meet people who share your faith. You can join a church, mosque, or temple and grow spiritually and socially.

In addition, places of worship offer numerous activities for involvement. As a Christian, when you join the choir, you are bound to make a friend or four during choir practices. Similarly, you can volunteer to usher congregants into the church during the service, offering an excellent opportunity to interact with a variety of people.

Final Thought.

Making friends as an adult is no small feat. However, it is doable. You just need to get yourself out there and mingle. I have done it several times over, and so can you! I hope these points help you navigate how to add some color and pop to your social life. ♥

Indulge me a little. What other places can you make friends? Comment, like and share.