How To Make Friends as an Adult.

It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Sure, staying in on a Saturday night, drinking hot cocoa, and watching reruns of your favourite shows while stroking your cat is nice. But Saturday after Saturday, it becomes routine and eventually lonely.

I remember when it was easier to make friends. You just needed to be in school or have a ball, and all the neighbourhood kids would want to play with you. We didn’t need much; no alignment, planning, or scheduling. Besides, we had all the time in the world to bond.

Lucky are those whose friendships have evolved and grown over time, from childhood to adulthood. However, for most of us, the more we narrowed down in our paths, the more we grew apart. So, you look up one day, and it hits you, “I have no friends!”

If you resonate with this and want to change your fate, this article is for you. Read on and discover how you can make friends as an adult.

1. Focus On Yourself.

‘Focus on myself, really?’ I know what you are thinking. It sounds counterproductive, but stay with me. I promise I am headed somewhere!

One of the most basic laws of the universe is that when you focus on yourself, everything else falls into place—yes, including friendships. It sounds like poppy cork, but it is true.

You stand a better chance of making friends when you shift the focus from the outside to within. When you pursue your interests and hobbies, people who share your passions and values will naturally gravitate towards you.

Therefore, when you feel lonely, get to know yourself better. Invest the energy and time in being your own friend first. What ignites your soul? Is it dancing, painting, or nature walks? Explore every interest!

Ensure your life is whole and fulfilling before you are out here looking for friends. This way, you’ll choose better quality friendships and not just a bunch of people to kill your boredom.

Also, take care of your mind and general health so that you can show up for others when they need you. Focusing on yourself will attract the right people into your life, and before long, you’ll have a whole tribe of people to hang out with on Saturdays!

2. Adopt A Growth Mindset.

Part of the reason you are cooped up in your house every weekend is because you are hung up on your old friends. You know, your best friend from kindergarten who left the country to study abroad. Or your closest friend in campus who recently got married and moved to another city!

The truth is, you have a fixed mindset. You are thinking, “I already have good friends, why do I need to make others?” However, this kind of thinking will have you sad and lonely for a long time.

To make friends as an adult, you must embrace a growth mindset. New friends can challenge you and expand your worldview. Allow yourself to evolve. Look at new friendships as an opportunity to grow and rediscover yourself.  Is the process tedious? Probably, but it’s definitely worth it!

3. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone.

You won’t meet new people in your house. Nope, they are not in your refrigerator nor are they in your bath tub! Unless you intend to be friends with your delivery man, get out of the house!

Get curious! What are people doing nowadays? Where do they hang out? Put yourself out there and be willing to try new things. Remember, if you do something, something happens, and the opposite is also true.

Therefore, say hi to your neighbour. You never know, maybe a beautiful friendship awaits you right next door. Stay a while at your place of worship and help out. Or volunteer in your community and meet new people while making an impact on society.

Also, don’t overthink it. Many people are so afraid of rejection that they will talk themselves out of something good. When you realise nobody is thinking of you as much as you, you’ll be as free as a bird. So, don’t let such trivialities hold you back.

4. Accept Invitations.

Part of putting yourself out there is accepting invitations. How many times have you declined invitations because you are too tired, overscheduled, or busy? I bet it’s so often that nobody asks you out anymore, and that’s why you are in this mess in the first place!

The next time someone asks you to do something, purpose to make it happen. If someone invited you for something, it’s because they want you there. They want to get to know you better, have fun and interact. Why would you decline?

Of course, decline if you are sick, genuinely busy or can’t afford it. Also, there is no need to pretend if you don’t like them and the vibe is off. However, if you sincerely want to hang out, don’t shun yourself away like an outcast. Propose another time or activity within your budget and see how it goes.

5. Be Intentional.

As adults, our lives are complicated and busy. Everyone is trying to chase their goals and ideal lifestyles, so our time and attention are limited.

Thus, we have to be intentional about making and keeping friendships. Romantic relationships provide the general idea, but platonic friendships also require the same, if not more, nurturing.

You have to teach yourself to make space and time for friendships deliberately. This means planning and scheduling social time. Whatever event is upcoming, put it in the calendar and set a reminder.

When you do meet up, be fully present. Let nothing distract you—not even your phone! Show genuine concern, ask questions, and catch up. Listen to understand, and of course, have fun, be free, and ugly laugh as much as you can!

Final Thought.

It can be challenging to make friends as an adult but it’s not impossible. If you follow the above guidelines, you’ll be hosting sleepover parties at your house in no time. However, once you have established connections, ensure you stay in touch regularly. Friendships are like plants; you must water them often lest they die. ❤️

How have you made friends as an adult?

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