What happens when your relationship hits a slump in the sheets? When you are no longer as excited to grab your partner and show them what they have been missing all day long? When the spark and passion is gone, do you call it quits or push on grudgingly?
A study published in the archives of Sexual Behavior showed that, in the first year of dating, couples reported a positive upswing in terms of sexual satisfaction, soon followed by a steady decline. Therefore, if you are in a bit of a sex bind, worry not; perhaps the decline is a normal occurrence.
The good news, though, is that we have discovered valuable insights shared by couples in long-term relationships who know how to keep the freaky on. Let’s get right into it!
1. Sharing Is Caring.
Sex involves a lot of peeling, and not just the clothes. With openness and communication, you create room for healthy sexual encounters. Being open with your partner clears up any feelings of awkwardness, thus paving the way for excitement.
Research shows that it takes couples a while to share their fantasies. After all, nobody wants to be judged, ridiculed or worse, rejected by the person they deeply crave. Many people would rather not risk it. So, they end up settling for good enough instead of fantastic.
However, couples in long-term relationships reveal that, with time, confidence slowly builds in the relationship. Then it is system go from there. Your partner, after all, is there to love you, not judge you. Or you should not be together at all.
2. Time Creates a Deeper Bond.
Time exposes all. The good, bad and ugly. When the initial electric sparks and honey moon fire dwindles, true substance or lack thereof is then revealed. It is at this stage that many couples panic and pull back.
Many people think when the ‘can’t wait to grab each other’ feeling abate, then something is wrong. This could not be further from the truth. As a couple, you are simply transitioning into the next healthy step. Long term solid couples embrace this phase as a chance to explore a greater level of intimacy beyond the sexual chemistry. Lean into it, as the best is yet to come.
3. Let Go of Inhibition.
Long-term couples attest that being unselfconscious is the best aphrodisiac. When you are not in your head, you are present and open for exploration. After being in a relationship for over a year, your partner has a good grasp on you. They know what makes you tick, the kind of chocolate you like, the TV shows you have on replay, quirks, and kinks.
The best part is that even with all this information, they still want to be with you. Isn’t that great? With the initial fear of rejection out of the way, you have all the time to connect, explore, interact and relate as a couple. You can now discuss your sexual preferences comfortably. However, communication is the number one key to success here.
4. Communication.
Learning to say what you want and need sexually is the key to a satisfying sex life. The study published in the archives of Sexual Behavior supported this statement by revealing communication as the top reason why long-term couples experience sexual fulfilment.
Learning to discuss your desires in the new sexy. Having honest conversations about what’s working and what could use some improvement is totally empowering, which leads to even better sex.
5. Switch Things Up.
If you are in a sex rut, the quickest fix is to switch things up. Most couples seamlessly fall into a routine because it is easy. They schedule sex. Mark the time and put it in a calendar. Eventually, it becomes too predictable. And gradually, it becomes another chore to be ticked off! Yikes!
Change things up. Work around your routine and change locations and styles. Add some spark into the action. Role plays and lets fantasies come alive. Take it a notch higher and incorporate some toys, too! Best of all, laugh with one another. Play with each other. Relationships are not meant to be deathly serious, so don’t treat them as such.
Final Thoughts.
Research from Stony Brook University, New York, found that engaging in thrilling and exciting activities can recreate the spark in a relationship. If you both find sky diving or water skiing exciting, that rush-like feeling can carry over into the bed because adrenaline doesn’t know where to land.
For the less daring, it could simply mean trying out a new restaurant, creating a lover’s music playlist, taking pottery classes or hiking. The possibilities are infinite.♥
