What To Keep from Last Year (Even If It Was Hard).

It seems like every new year comes with the exact instructions: let it go. “New year, New Me” becomes the slogan. A loud distancing from the previous year. As if it were the Covid-year, now that was the worst.

With this, it feels like nothing good happened at all. And your entire year was full of pain, mistakes, and struggle. Even if this is true, there is also no doubt that you experienced pockets of joy throughout the year as well. And that counts for something. So here is what to keep from last year, even if it was hard.

1. Pockets Of Joy.

One of the pecks of adulting is that life is rarely black and white. Two truths can exist at the same time. For example, you can hold someone accountable while forgiving them or feel both happy and sad. The gym is also an excellent example; the pain you pursue there is not pleasurable, but it is also very rewarding.

There are pockets of joy in every situation. No matter how bad or painful a year was, there was always a silver lining, like the creative pursuits that erupted during the COVID-19 era. Despite lockdowns, deaths, and health restrictions, people found creative outlets that launched the digital era.

Likewise, you can grieve the loss of a loved one and also seek solace in knowing they are no longer in pain. Similarly, you can mourn a breakup and still laugh at Ross for saying Rachel instead of Emily in your 100th rerun of the show Friends.

2. Moments Of Wins.

Hard years have a way of generating solid wins. Winning is more than just taking a gold medal or a trophy home. It is also prioritising yourself. Your boundaries, health, and peace of mind. And many wins come with that.

However, when you are going through it, that specific moment does not feel like a win. The gut-wrenching pain of letting go of someone you deeply cared for cuts so intensely that it makes it hard to breathe. It is like mountain climbing; it only makes sense when you get to the top.

The journey up a mountain is the hardest. Yet it is through that journey that a transformation happens. It is also where you experience unforgettable moments of kindness, like someone waiting for you when you are winded so that you are not left behind. Or simply sharing their protein bar with you or someone holding your hand because you are afraid of falling.

Moments of wins can look like a friend flying miles to come be with you during a hard time. Or forgiving a cheating spouse and not taking him back. And a neighbour inviting you for dinner because they heard you crying through the bedroom wall. It is the small moments when life slows down and takes care of you.

3. Resilience.

After a challenging year, now you know; you are not as fragile. Even if last year did not look productive, you stayed. You survived. That shows you have resilience. The quiet persistence through uncertainty. Knowing that ‘I overcame’ or ‘I handled that’ is the fuel you need to keep going. Now you know a formidable truth: you will be okay no matter what. That’s a truth worth keeping.

4. Your Closet.

Not everything needs to get tossed out. Your fashion sense may need an upgrade, but in the ruffles, there are some definite keeps. Keep any dress, accessory, or attire that made you feel beautiful, no matter what it looks like.

Keep the blue trouser suit you wore for your first interview. The comfy pyjamas that feel like a warm hug on a cold night. And that outfit that your friends think is tacky, who knows, maybe it will be fashionable someday.

These items make you remember how far you have come. They show you your resilience, vulnerability, and strength.

5. The Quiet Moments.

Hard years have a way of isolating you. Remember the COVID year, everyone was in isolation. Granted, it was for health reasons, but the concept is the same. When you are having a bad year, most of the moments are quiet and isolating.

Nobody is clapping for you. Nobody is celebrating you. No one is visiting. At times, people hardly notice you are having a hard time. They, too, are occupied and worried about their own messy lives. It is in those quiet moments that you realise nobody is coming to save you.

No one is coming to process the hurt or emotional pain for you. Your guardian is not coming to yank you out of bed. Your friend can send you job applications, but only you can apply for the job you like. It is in those quiet moments that resilience and grit are born.

Quiet moments deserve a place on the trophy board. They reflect how you got the trophies in the first place. Besides, another truth of adulting is that you spend nearly 90% of your life by yourself. Even if you have roommates, family, and a community around you, you are still by yourself. Therefore, if you are not able to handle the quiet moments, you are in for big trouble.

6. The Lessons.

Hard years are full of lessons. The kind that are not taught in school. Therefore, last year likely taught you something about people, boundaries, timing, or yourself.

Perhaps you learnt who among your friends disappears when things get hard, or the pricy tag of ignoring your intuition. Maybe you learned how much you have been over-giving, and now it is time to reel back. At best, you learned how to speak up for yourself. And that even in doubt, fear, and uncertainty, you can survive.

These are lessons worth keeping. You wouldn’t want a repeat of the same, would you? Besides, there is a simple universal law that states, ‘until you learn something, the lesson will repeat itself.’ It will be just another day with the same old shoot!

Final Thoughts.

This year, instead of you going with the flow. New year, New you. Flip the script and keep some things. Life does not end after a challenging year. For most people, that’s when life truly begins. While some things should be dropped in the new year, these do not make the cut. Instead, they should be engraved in your mind, body, and spirit. ♥