Society frequently takes jabs at our self-confidence as women. From our physical appearances to our ability to love, multitask, and nurture. We are constantly bombarded with messages that we are not enough at every turn. Thus, a need to continually change to be at par with the ever-changing standards.
With years of negative voices and imagery disposed at us, we eventually absorb this criticism, and it becomes our bread and butter. As a result, we lose our sense of worth and confidence. No wonder we are constantly comparing ourselves and thinking something is wrong with us.
Honey, there is nothing wrong with you. You have just given your inner critic the microphone. Fortunately, you don’t have to listen any more. It’s time to snatch away, mute it entirely or change the frequency altogether. Here are some simple ways you can play for your team.
1. Own Your Body.
As a woman, it’s natural to focus on what we don’t like about our bodies. It could be your menstruation causing a fuss on your face. Or the few kilograms you have gained, manifesting as a muffin top and flappy arms. The list can be endless when you are facing the mirror and nit-picking what you don’t like.
Instead of fussing about what you don’t like, challenge yourself by asking what you can do about it. If the muffin top bothers you, start a healthy diet and take the stairs instead of the elevator. If your skin is being dramatic for a few days, let it be and drink plenty of water.
Beauty fades with time; therefore, view your body as a tool for your sustenance. It is a high-powered instrument that you can use to have incredible experiences and adventures. Be your own model and set beauty standards for yourself. All rooted in freedom, fun and exploration, wouldn’t that be fabulous?
2. Allow Yourself to Evolve.
A lack of confidence breeds a low quality of life. A life full of fear. You don’t want to change anything. You want to cling to old friends and experiences with a till death do us part approach in everything. Eventually, it will lead to stagnation.
It is natural for us to grow and evolve. You are not set in stone. Nobody expects you to remain the same, year in, year out. It is normal to outgrow things and people. When it happens, don’t be afraid; instead, embrace it and let go.
Honey, allow yourself to evolve. Nature new or old friendships that bring out the best in yourself. Go on an adventure that will skyrocket your self-confidence. Learn something new, such as art or language, and you will not believe how marvellous you feel.
3. Our differences, Our Gift.
The notion that we should all look a certain way is ridiculous. It is self-torturing, and the cultivator of such notions purely hates women. Period.
Think about it: the ‘ideal woman’ has been edited for centuries. ‘She’ at some point was the epitome of beauty standards, but that was quickly eroded by a new normal and a new ‘her’. Look at the evolution of the Barbie doll. Therefore, it’s unreasonable to want uniformity out of us.
Live by your beauty standards. If that entails a dash of eye pencil and lipstick, so be it. Suppose you prefer a full-face beat, no harm, no foul. Do you boo! But let it be in your terms. Our differences are what makes us beautiful.
4. Take time off Social media.
It’s hard to scroll through Instagram and not compare your life to old classmates and total strangers on the internet. Constantly looking at them crushing in what seems like seamless jobs, with their kids on holiday, married and happy, can take a toll on you, especially when you don’t have much going on for yourself.
When such times come, and they will, switch it all off. Take a breather and allow yourself to focus on you. A little silence from the media, especially social media, can bring much clarity to your life.
Honey, the grass is not greener elsewhere but where you water it. So, if the grass seems greener, someone is working hard to water it. Don’t compare your life to anyone else. If you swapped lives, you would see it’s not all that and demand yours back!
Quit playing yourself by constantly critiquing what’s wrong with you. It will have you walking with a crowd of sadness and emptiness. Instead, shift your mindset from ‘them’ to you. You have the power; own it!♥
Mourine Warui is a media and communication expert and seasoned writer. Her goal is to empower and offer solutions to everyday girl’s problems while provoking candid and authentic conversations. Other goals are to provide inspiration and entertainment to readers through creative, thought-provoking and edgy stories.
